I need pain to rescue me, a rip elbow to wrist,
Freely flowing hot red stickiness clotting quickly,
Might abate the crimson inside my skull blazing incandescent,
This searing, incessant screaming shattering eardrums,
dragging nails across  skin, shaking fingers digging deep into flesh,
The creaking ribs against the bludgeoning heart, rancid spirals of
cuss that is a body language, lips split and spew visceral sludge,
stewing inside acidic gut, the arms that hold in in tight to keep
the bones from coming unhinged...
give me some pain that isn't you
ive died a million times more painful deaths
some mercy I surely could use 

Point blank

The deep end of loss, a question left to eternity,
The mourning of whats and whens and wheres,
The seemingly defeated heart does not stop beating,
A flurry of thoughts, all tangled and fragmented shards,
A tale not worth telling, no epic, no bard-worthy histrionics,
But a grain of suffering on an ocean bed of carcass,
Just what cuts, it is hard to say, it is everywhere; it is everything,
The floor is kind, or at least cold and strong and holds on,
While the world dazzlingly spins on, and on, and on,
And these words are not owned, they drip off like slime,
There's no one and nothing and no sense of time,
Some hurts are days, some blades are faces, some daggers are moments,
There're are promises, and failures, and memories and costly mistakes,
There's no way out, there's no way out, there's no way out,

till the end