god???? hmmm.....

there is this one question that strikes many of us at varied stages of our journies through this lifetime or any other...is there a god??
At many a time, my mind has been all but ready to accept the idea that god is a mere illusion. That we are all alone in this rat race to a place in space in time that few can see but all want to get to anyway. Many a times I have been tempted to allow myself to be swayed by the facts of science…. The big bang theory and there on the fusion of elements to create the first single celled entity capable of certain metabolic functions (magic!!..Eureka) that thereby underwent a zillion mutations to become larger, more complex entities….more accurately, functioning units. And so went the chain of chemical reactions leading to a biological morphism and produced after all the la-di-dah became us (humans that is!!)
So there was no god who created the world, all the beautiful, the ugly, the living, the undead, the seen, the unseen. He did not create Adam, and Eve was definitely an impossibility. There was no Eden garden and much less was there was a fruit of sin….
There was no Krishna and Rama, no Allah or Messiah.
We are all and will always be alone.Quite imaginably at these times, this above conclusion is a result of but one thing…. disillusionment. It’s the result of not getting something I want and could not have.
When I think about this objectively though, as I do now, I ask myself another question.
What is god??or rather who is god???
Is he some haloed, bright faced, dark eyed, powerful (as in more powerful than Keanu in matrix), with a heavenly glow who can make things happen before I can say G-O-D??!!
Is he the one that comes down to earth on certain days?? Is he the one that makes the poor rich, the one who delivers those in pain, the one who awakens the dead, the one who grants immortality??I think not, and this I believe.
But I do believe in a power that I name god for there is no other word I know that’d describe that kind of power.The power of will.A will to aspire, a will to scrounge to fulfill dreams, a will to live, a will to breathe, a will to say…..believe.
When people go to worship places, the temples, the churches, the mosques and celebrate in the light of blazing candles and lamps, what they call god with a trueness and oneness of mind, when they believe with all their might, I believe that something very powerful happens. They willingly make an effort to change in the direction they need to move in. if for nothing else, they do this for the salvation of their faith and that will that they call god make miracles happen. It makes the poor wealthy, it delivers those in pain, it saves the dying, it grants longitivity.And thus contra to the faith that god gave a kick start to evolution, its evolution that gave a kick start to god!! I am not an atheist I believe in a supreme power.
Within myself, within any being with a will. A human being, an animal, a plant, a bacteria an HIV even!!! This belief is our salvation. It is a rope to hold on to in the dark,. It is a ray of light. It helps when we are afraid to move an inch, to take a leap….the leap of faith(so truly named!)
........And so I say when I’m elated, ‘thank you god!!’; when I’m relieved, ‘thank god’; when I’m afraid, ‘god save me’; when I’m broken, ‘god…’; and when I’m in love and when it hurts to say so; when I’m in inconceivable pain…when there is no where I can go and darkness falls upon me, surrounds me, envelopes, swallows me and tries to claim me….GOD!! Look within me at the light that shines there, the passionate torch of my faith, I can see a way (all of a sudden!)

There is light at the end of the tunnel!!